Be Nice, Until It’s Time To Not Be Nice

This morning, for some odd reason, I started thinking about Patrick Swayze in the movie “Roadhouse.”

Let’s be fair, it’s not a classic of American cinema. It’s a cheesy movie with a few really great scenes that makes it stick out. One of those scenes, in particular, stuck in my head today.

It’s the scene where he’s talking to the bouncers at the Double Deuce and he’s telling them how to handle things going forward.

Here’s the clip (edited):

Be nice, until it’s time to not be nice.

In the context, he’s talking about a job with a high risk of confrontation. Drunk people don’t make good judgments, by and large, so bouncers are occasionally forced to fight. 

But it’s also good advice in our contentious times where everything is controversial and nothing is beyond causing offense, it seems.

Life on social media and in the real world has gotten volatile. It’s hard to know how to go, which is why I started thinking as a Barbarian.

But that attitude, the idea of living your life as if you risk having your skull split open while being prepared to split skulls yourself if need be, can be summed up pretty well by Swayze’s lines here. Be nice, until it’s time to not be nice.

Now, this introduces a problem, though.

You see, being nice is seen by some as weakness. They see it as something to exploit, something they can capitalize on. They see you as nice and want to take advantage of that niceness.

If they’re smart, they’ll do it subtly, over a period of time. They’ll do it slowly enough you might not even realize they’re taking advantage of you until it’s too late.

But most people aren’t that smart.

So what do you do when you realize that people are taking advantage of you? Well, then it’s time to not be nice.

I’m not saying you beat their asses, though that might be warranted. It’s rarely permissible by the rules of society, after all, unless they start it. But you’re not obliged to continue to be treated badly either.

What you’re dealing with, however, are people who want to take advantage of your civilized nature. They know you will likely do nothing to them, so they have no fear of you. They have no reason to fear you.

Unfortunately for them, you’re a Barbarian. They should fear you. They should fear your rage.

While you have to navigate the rules of society, bear in mind that those rules really just require you to get creative in how you deal with them.

Oh, declaring them dead to you is fair. They’re probably even halfway ready for that.

But you can split their skulls as no civilized man, even if only in a metaphorical sense. 

Make sure people know what you’ve been dealing with. Provide witnesses who can vouch for it–you and I both know that others will probably see it before you will–and provide evidence. Make it clear who and what they are.

More importantly, though, you’re making it more difficult for them to do this to other people. You’re making it so they have to repair their reputations, which means going against what you declared them to be.

In other words, use their actions to destroy any reputation they may have. Cut them off socially, if possible. Make them pay.

You were nice. Until it was time to not be nice. 

But when that moment comes, descend upon the wicked like the fiery hand of God.

Society may say we have to play by their rules, but that doesn’t mean we have to be anyone’s doormat.

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Perfection In The Little Things

One of my many flaws is a tendency to do things half-assed. The problem is that I get worked up and want to finish the task, and as a result, I make mistakes. Then, my impatience wins out yet again and those mistakes are left. I’m not good at perfection.

Granted, we’re all human. Few of us are. 

But some of us actually strive for that perfection, and it pisses me off that I’m not one of them. Especially when some of those have created things like this:

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Soreness: The Price We Pay For Slacking Off

Soreness is a punishment for taking it too easy, but it can also be something of a gift.

Right now, I’m fairly sore. In a little while, I’ll venture out to the gym, brave the Black Friday traffic (the gym is near a lot of the places people want to shop) and hit legs.

Then I’ll be sore for the next two days.

At the risk of sounding like a masochist, I actually deserve this. Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness (DOMS) is the price I’m paying for slacking off for a week or so.

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Overcoming Momentum

Newton’s Third Law tells us that an object at motion tends to remain in motion unless acted upon by an outside force. Likewise, an object at rest tends to remain at rest unless also acted upon by an outside force.

He might as well have been talking about people.

Newton’s Third Law tells us that an object at motion tends to remain in motion unless acted upon by an outside force. Likewise, an object at rest tends to remain at rest unless also acted upon by an outside force.

Newton was talking about literal objects, but he might as well have been talking about people.

In our lives, we seem to have a certain amount of momentum in our habits, and it’s overcoming that momentum that we all need to do in order to get our crap together.

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Gut Checks And Other Critters

Over the weekend, I watched a little something on Netflix about the Special Operations Executive, or SOE. This was a group that led to the U.S. created the OSS, which is the predecessor to the CIA.

The show was a unique blend of documentary and reality television. It took modern folks, dressed them in 1940s clothing and then put them through the training of an SOE agent.

During the show, there was an exercise where the agents had to travel across a rather cold lake. One of the participants, however, had a phobia of open water. She was terrified. The thought had her shaking, she was petrified of going across that lake.

She went anyway.

As I watched it, I couldn’t help but think about her courage–and that was real

But it also made me think about how I probably need to find opportunities to introduce more gut checks into my life.

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Motivation Isn’t A Requirement, It’s An Excuse

I was checking out the posts in a Facebook group I’m a member of, and I saw this image:

Yeah, it’s a screenshot from a cell phone, but it’s what was posted. I have no rights to this, but it falls under fair use since it’s about to be the topic of commentary.

The meme addresses those who use a lack of motivation as an excuse to not get to the gym. I, myself, have mentioned motivation a time or two, particularly my lack of it.

But what sets me apart from “Robin” in that pic?

Easy. I don’t view motivation as a requirement to get me to the gym, while “Robin” there uses it as an excuse.

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Stop Your Bellyaching And Start Training

I love my son. I really do.

I’m proud as hell of the kid, too. He’s smart, he’s funny, he’s got a lot going for him in this world.

However, I have to be honest, too. He’s lazy as hell.

It’s frustrating, too, because he’s like a lot of people in his generation. He doesn’t like being overweight, but he’s willing to do absolutely nothing to change it. Nothing at all.

At this point, I’ve lost about 30 lbs. That’s nothing to sneeze at, and it means I may know a thing or two about getting the weight off. At least at the start. Especially since at this point about six or seven years ago, I did it then too.

But nope.

So many of his generation want to bellyache about their lot in life instead of getting off their asses and start training.

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