Yesterday, I was talking with a friend of mine about being in the friend zone. This friend, a woman, has a male acquaintance she was once dating until he dropped everything to whisk his bestest bestie (another woman) off on a trip after the bestest bestie was going through some “stuff”.
It turns out, this guy is actually stuck in the friend zone with his bestest bestie, who he’s apparently in love with.
For the last decade or so, he’s languished there in the hopes that the situation will change and she’ll welcome him into her heart. To that hope, I have but one thing to offer:
I often joke that I’m a good example of a bad example. The truth, however, is that for much of my life, I actually was. I was weak, cowardly, dishonorable, and a lazy sack of excrement. I had nothing to recommend me as a decent human being to anyone.
Then, 15 years ago, my son was born. This tiny little life depended on me, and more than that, he depended on me to be the professor for his life. He needed someone to show him how to be a man, and I wasn’t the one he needed to look to.
Over the weekend, I talked a bit about “tribes” and why tribes aren’t such a bad thing. Now, I’d like to float my own idea for an intentional tribe, or a community. Whatever term you use is irrelevant. What matters is that it’s a group of people who bind themselves together under a set of principles.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about tribes and tribalism. Donovan, at the end of The Way of Men, admonished guys to form “gangs”, basically groups of men who are beholden to you and who you are beholden to.
The reality is that not only is it impossible to prove yourself to billions of people, or even millions, unless you have a massive platform, it’s also completely pointless. Part of honor is in having the approval of your peers, and those millions aren’t your peers.
One of the things Game practitioners supposedly did back in the early days was look at the things women responded to. For example, characters in romance novels. They argued, and on this I’m in agreement, that what women wanted in their escapism is indicative of what they want in their lives.
Hey, I read about spaceships and dragons in my escapism, and those would be awesome in real life, so I agree.
Well, as a novelist myself, I was on Amazon looking for books that have MMA as a central theme. I had an idea for a story that used it, and I wanted to see how other authors handled the detailed and technical aspects of fighting.