The Upbringing For A Warrior Elite

Photo by Liz Henry
Photo by Liz Henry

I’ll be honest, a lot of times, it feels like the press is against us as men.  Everything about men sucks and everything that might possibly lead to more men is awful.  That’s how it feels.

So imagine my surprise when this particular article showed up in my Facebook feed yesterday.  It’s all about how boys should be permitted to play with weapons like sticks and swords and stuff.

Here’s one of the best parts of the whole thing: Continue reading “The Upbringing For A Warrior Elite”


Why A Site Like This Is Needed

Once upon a time, men had it easy.  We knew what was expected of us and we could do it.  Yes, that time wasn’t great for everyone, but it was for us based on that one simple reason alone.

Then, things changed.  Women got it in their heads that they not only needed to defend what women should and shouldn’t be and do, but also sought to define masculinity as well.

Photo by Jon Rogers
Photo by Jon Rogers

Frankly, little else annoys me worse than feminists seeking to complain about male-focused things.  Not that they care because, apparently, women are the reigning experts on men and masculine stuff

For example, at The Daily Dot they regularly ask “Are men OK?” but then let people who say things like this write the stories: Continue reading “Why A Site Like This Is Needed”

Life In The Friend Zone

Picture by Cali4beach
Picture by Cali4beach

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend of mine about being in the friend zone.  This friend, a woman, has a male acquaintance she was once dating until he dropped everything to whisk his bestest bestie (another woman) off on a trip after the bestest bestie was going through some “stuff”.

It turns out, this guy is actually stuck in the friend zone with his bestest bestie, who he’s apparently in love with.

For the last decade or so, he’s languished there in the hopes that the situation will change and she’ll welcome him into her heart.  To that hope, I have but one thing to offer:

Never.  Gonna.  Happen.

Continue reading “Life In The Friend Zone”

Becoming Better Rolemodels

Nope.  Not me.
Photo by Raoul Snyman (Photo not of the author)

I often joke that I’m a good example of a bad example.  The truth, however, is that for much of my life, I actually was.  I was weak, cowardly, dishonorable, and a lazy sack of excrement.  I had nothing to recommend me as a decent human being to anyone.

Then, 15 years ago, my son was born.  This tiny little life depended on me, and more than that, he depended on me to be the professor for his life.  He needed someone to show him how to be a man, and I wasn’t the one he needed to look to.

For me, it was the kick in the rear I needed to try and be better.  It was the moment that started changing everything. Continue reading “Becoming Better Rolemodels”

To Build A Community

Photo by Kevin Dooley
Photo by Kevin Dooley

Over the weekend, I talked a bit about “tribes” and why tribes aren’t such a bad thing.  Now, I’d like to float my own idea for an intentional tribe, or a community.  Whatever term you use is irrelevant.  What matters is that it’s a group of people who bind themselves together under a set of principles.

What follows are my own ideas for my own community.  If you are using this as a guideline for your own, awesome.  I merely ask you to change the name. Continue reading “To Build A Community”

Are ‘Tribes’ Such A Bad Thing?

Recently, I’ve been thinking about tribes and tribalism.  Donovan, at the end of The Way of Men, admonished guys to form “gangs”, basically groups of men who are beholden to you and who you are beholden to.

Photo by Jhoana Tamayo
Photo by Jhoana Tamayo

The reality is that not only is it impossible to prove yourself to billions of people, or even millions, unless you have a massive platform, it’s also completely pointless.  Part of honor is in having the approval of your peers, and those millions aren’t your peers.

So, instead, we should form smaller groups.

Here’s where it gets tricky.  The idea of “tribe” gets a lot of negative attention.  People view tribalism as a bad thing, but they’re also misusing the term. Continue reading “Are ‘Tribes’ Such A Bad Thing?”

Women, Nice Guys, and Tough Guys

One of the things Game practitioners supposedly did back in the early days was look at the things women responded to.  For example, characters in romance novels.  They argued, and on this I’m in agreement, that what women wanted in their escapism is indicative of what they want in their lives.

Photo by Vladimir Pustovit
Photo by Vladimir Pustovit

Hey, I read about spaceships and dragons in my escapism, and those would be awesome in real life, so I agree.

Well, as a novelist myself, I was on Amazon looking for books that have MMA as a central theme.  I had an idea for a story that used it, and I wanted to see how other authors handled the detailed and technical aspects of fighting.

I looked up “MMA fighter fiction”, and the results were kind of eye opening. Continue reading “Women, Nice Guys, and Tough Guys”