The following is a guest post by my friend, Brian Holcomb. It spawned out of a conversation he and I were having about wives. In the first paragraph, he notes that it may seem weird for a post like this to be on a blog like this, but I’m going to say that if you don’t feel this way about your wife, the way Brian and I feel about our wives, you need to do some serious self-reflection.
This may seem a little strange and personal especially for a guest post on a masculinity blog, but after talking with Tom the other night, I have some thoughts that have to be shared. The fact is, every man, the real men that I’ve known, not the players, assholes, and douchebags but the real men have felt this way about the women they love most and I’ve recently been able to articulate it a little better I think than most of us usually can, so here goes.
Being a woman is hard. We men get a lot of grief over being competitive, but we pick things to compete over and we’re loud about it. Who’s the best golfer? Who’s the best rifle shot? Who’s the best shotgunner? Who’s the best deer hunter? Who built the fastest car? Guys can answer these questions about their group of friends without effort because that’s what we do. Women on the other hand, whether they talk about it or not compete with each other about everything. They’re always comparing themselves to the other ladies around them and to the images they’re presented in media. Continue reading “Guest Post: A Love Letter To Wives (Especially Mine)”
Honor is an important thing. However, honor doesn’t strictly depend on what you do. It’s also about how others view you. Being honorable is hard, and people want to be acknowledged as honorable. Unfortunately, some other people will want to tear you down as well.
In days gone by, dueling was how this was dealt with. Two men would draw swords and go after one another. Still later, it was pistols at 20 paces. Regardless of the tool, there was a definite risk of life which made it costly to be insulting.
Then, we became more “civilized” and dueling was banned. That didn’t end the practice but pushed it underground. Further, it gave the dishonorable sort an out. After all, now all they had to do was claim to be law abiding citizens.
For a while, boxing took the place of dueling. Two men would put aside their swords or pistols according to the law, and hopped into the ring to settle their disputes. In many schools, even in relatively recent times, the gym coach would put gloves and headgear on two students having issues and let them duke it out.
I was talking with a friend yesterday when they asked, “Dude, what is up with this preoccupation with violence? I thought you were running a blog on being manly and stuff, not some ‘warrior’ blog.”
It’s a fair question.
After all, I do spend a fair bit of time talking about violence as well as sharing information I find on how to administer it to the deserving. I’ve spent a lot more time on that than probably any other subject thus far.
In Part 1 of this series, I outlined various things a father can do to prepare his son to be effective in protecting himself and his family in later years. After all, knowledge is power.
However, no man is an expert in everything. He is either an expert in a handful of things or, like me, someone who knows some on a great many topics but can’t truly be called an expert in anything.
Either way, there’s holes in any man’s knowledge, and it’s virtually impossible not to pass those along to your son. That’s not a good thing, obviously.
Imagine, if you will, a building; maybe it’s an old barn or a warehouse, but it’s fairly isolated and relatively empty. You step through the door with your son the first time, and what do you see? Continue reading “A New Agoge Part 2”
Spartan boys, when they reached a certain age, were pried from their mothers and put into a special state-run school called “the agoge” where they were taught to be warriors. It almost had to be state-run because few parents would subject their children to such brutality.
By the time they were finished, they were Spartan warriors, and ready to defend their city from any attacker.
Today, most of us put our children in state-run schools as well…and the results aren’t anything like the agoge. In fact, they may well be the opposite of the agoge in many ways. While the Spartan school sought to turn boys into men, in many ways public education seeks to turn boys into girls. Continue reading “A New Agoge: Part 1”
A couple of days ago, I wrote a post about resurrecting honor. Unlike most posts here, this one took off and blew up thanks to a link from Instapundit. It also spawned some interesting discussions on Facebook. Since that first post was never intended to be all encompassing–it’s not a subject you can write about in a thousand words and call it done–it may be worth a second look at honor based on those discussions.
You see, several people argued that honor is intimately tied to the idea of duty. They have a point.
Honor is, in part, based on how one performs his duty. It doesn’t matter what that duty is, what matters is how you perform it. The janitor who takes care in cleaning the building has infinitely more honor than the CEO who just uses his job for the perks while he’s running the company into the ground. Continue reading “Honor and Duty”